there is an art to negotiating with a toddler. you can't give too much. too little can backfire and turn into an all out battle. i.e.: my daughter likes to "go out" after school these days, we take a walk, she wants to hit the party, we hit it, she wants to stay out but it's time to come home. try: setting your alarm clock on your iPhone with a preset alarm for your toddler (dylan has a duck). if that doesn't work, it's time to play hard ball. if you are at a park, tell her the park closes at dark and those left in the park will be arrested (The only park she should be sleeping in/occupying is Zuccotti Park with a sleeping bag accompanied by her daddy :). And if she wants a cookie before dinner? Your on your own my friend :) dz
10 comments:
occupy parenting. dz
Negotiating with a toddler? I don't think so. Grab a set, take charge and be the parent you are supposed to be or you're gonna be in a world of hurt when she gets older.
thanks al. dz
But I do agree with you in most respects, I just want her to also feel that the world is limitless in possibilities and I think strict parents can breed obedient boring children. DZ
It's important for people of all ages to feel like they are in control of their own situation. That's what he's trying to do here.
And it's no harm done either, since clearly he's willing to put his put down and set solid guidelines
I'm with you on negotiating with a toddler. We have nicknamed my son Brennan Bin Laden. I think negotiating is an important part of development. It will aid in their ability to compromise in the future. Negoiating now, by providing healthy choices will hopefully teach them how to make healthy decisions.
Negotiating should be over preset limits. Parental limits. For example: Do you want to wear your red shoes or your blue shoes? Wearing shoes is not negotiable, what color is.
Do you want green beans or broccoli? Vegetable not negotiable, what vegetable is. As they get older you can widen the parameters, but toddlers are not capable of making INFORMED decisions - it would be all skittles and rainbows otherwise. Up to parents to be in charge and for kids to learn how to make decisions.
Good points "Unknown" but you make parenting sound like the army. Dude, it's not all vegetables and parameters and limits. DZ
So true, put your foot donw now. Be reasonable, but be in charge!
If you are too aggressive with your child, and always place your foot down, you will be developing a timid kid that will become passive aggressive or lack leadership skills and be without entitlement. Want an example? Just look at those hockey kids with the Alpha Male Dads. Look how wimpy and passive these kids are. you want to develop young leaders of society, and keeping kids suppressed without giving them any control is a surefire way to raise inadequate or mediocre offspring.
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